Days 6 & 7 and 8 – Mixed Message Monday
Saturday and Sunday. Obviously Saturday didn’t start too well. I rang him about 9.30 and got no answer. I rang his Mum, she said “I have just spoken to him and I am going to ring him at 12.30 to see how far down the line he is” (meaning Train line for her to pick him up at the Station). I (in a rather high pitched voice) enquired, why 12.30, why so late? to which she replied “Well I told him not to rush, I will be out all morning and I am not giving up my Saturday morning”. Fucking charming. I was livid. It took all of my composure not to say “Oh no, but it was OK for me to give up my day off, all day Thursday up the fucking hospital with you”. Short memories some people. She then went on to suggest that I take our Son to work with me and she would pick him up when she had finished in Town. I refused, got a bit stroppy and said “no don’t worry, I don’t see why he should be dragged around and then over to the Station (10 miles away) I will just cancel my clients”. I then said “Bye” and hung up. Furious. Although I don’t know why I was so angry with her really, but she is not the kind of Gran who has a lot of time for the kids, whereas my Mum has always made a huge fuss of them. I guess I felt that instead of thinking about her Son and how she was giving anything up to collect him, she should have thought a bit more about her Grandson and me, the fact I needed to go to work. In the end I rang my Mum, who was more than willing to give up her Saturday morning and I booked a Taxi to collect her and then I got in it and went to work. £13 down, before I had even made any money at work.
I then rang “The Pig” and got an answer and started “going off on one”. Oddly he took it and never lost his temper with me at all. Strange.
When I got home from work, he was actually quite nice. He asked if I had had my hair done as it looked Blonder. I told him I hadn’t. He watched a programme I like and he doesn’t, and was actually commenting on it. Sunday the same, it was all rather pleasant. A bit of a moan when he thought we were out of Baked Beans when he was doing a fry-up, but we weren’t and he found them, so had a bit of egg on his face there!
Bedtime loomed and all was well, although I ended up back in the Spare room but only because I couldn’t sleep. I was running things around in my head and wondered if he had just said he wanted to leave because he was in a mood and didn’t really mean it. We all say things in temper we don’t mean, don’t we? Only difference is, us women are capable of saying “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean that” whereas Men don’t and TP will rarely apologise.
Monday came and he rang at 8.10am, now that was a bit of a surprise. I didn’t hear the phone ring as I was busy, but Little Man spoke to him. Then later in the morning he called me. Another big surprise.
He came home, but seemed a bit moody again and a few words were exchanged, because he couldn’t find his Vitamin Tablets but they were where I said they were, but he asked why I had put them there. I did tell him not to “start” I couldn’t see why we should have a row over it.
I had seen this slot on GMTV in the morning, about Sex and Relationships and I heard them say that you should cuddle your Man for 4 minutes each day and that they find it a very nuturing experience, so had planned to do this. I went into him after he had gone to bed. He had been moaning that he was tired (nothing new there then) but I got in and said it was just for a cuddle. He didn’t seem too pleased but laid there giving no response back, as stiff as a board and cocked his head up for the News Headlines and when they were finished, he said “you can go now”. Charming. I said “this is a joke, can’t even sleep in my own bed when I have done so for the last 9 years” “I don’t sleep well with you in here” forgetting that he doesn’t sleep well when I am not in there, allegedly. Then he said “I’ve got a lot on my mind” and before I could enquire what, he quickly said “work, with work” – that didn’t feel right and I don’t want to become paranoid, but I don’t know what the Work problem can be. I know he is very busy with a huge workload but he has now been told his contract will be extended for a couple of months more than we thought and obviously, if he has got a load on his mind, I would rather he told me what is wrong, rather than leaving me to think its more than a work problem and there is other stuff going on with him that I don’t know about. So off I slunk, head spinning with thoughts. It all feels like a bit of a Head Fuck to be honest.
I didn’t broach the subject at the weekend about him leaving because I didn’t want to “rock the boat” when he seemed fine, but know that at some stage I will have to bring it up as I still feel I don’t really know where I stand.
On the Relationship thing on TV this morning, they said when you stop yourself having Sex you feel powerful, its like you are protecting yourself but after a while you begin to feel bad, but its hard to turn that sexuality back on. After being banished to the Spare room, I could relate to what they were saying and wondered if that was what TP was doing, but thought that Sunday night was a breakthrough. Only time will tell.