The Pig phoned from Cheltenham

Last night the “pig” phoned from Cheltenham. I had the hump that he had even gone and even more of the hump that he took the money for the electric bill to go with! Anyway he rang to say he had put his Sim in someone else’s phone as he had sat on his and snapped it in half!  I called him all the stupid f@@@@rs under the sun, and warned him not to come home at the end of the week unless he had won some money.  He ended the call saying “OK bye darling”.  Darling? what planet is he on? or what has he been up to, more like, it made a nice change from “Silly fat cow” nonetheless!